Things That Are Not Working Today
My laptop fan (it makes a loud, high pitched, humming noise. It’s okay, I don’t need to focus on work or anything.) My cell phone My printer My immune system
Admitting It Is The First Step
I’m sick. There, I said it. Headache, sore throat, tummy ache, fatigue, dizziness, the works. I hate admitting I’m sick. I’d rather live in this little bubble of denial I’ve been building around myself the past three days. I like it better than taking care of myself, and that’s probably because I’m a big baby. So when I wake up with a sore throat, I tell myself...
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you...– Mae West
I saw the title of this article, “I Am No Longer A Bird Loather” and said, “OMG I loathe birds! Twinsies!” Just kidding, I thought it because I wouldn’t say “twinsies” out loud. And since I have already broken each half-assed resolution I made for 2012, I should probably make it my new New Year’s Resolution to not use “twinsies” in my...
I Want You to Love Me Like My Dog: The Ways My Dog...
I was bouncing around a couple different radio stations in the car this weekend and I stopped on the country station out of curiosity over the only lyric I caught: “I want you to love me like my dog.” I chuckled to myself, thinking, “Someone wrote a song about how much their dog loves them?” And then the sheer, simple brilliance of the statement hit me. YES, THIS IS...
I don’t know how many years on this Earth I got left, I’m gonna get...– Frank, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
The Best Way To Spend My Friday Night
Coming home to hang out with Mom- Panera, face masks & chick flicks.
Reasons Why I'm Not Being Productive at the...
Facebook. The Things I Have To Do are called just that because if I wanted to do them, I’d call them Things I Want To Do. I am actively putting off the things I have to do in favor of only slightly productive stuff. Facebook. Attention Deficit Disorder. There is an adorable elderly couple here and I’d much rather write their love story than my assignment. The Queen...
n. [Brit. wallesia]: a condition characterized by scanning faces in a crowd looking for a specific person who would have no reason to be there, which is your brain’s way of checking to see whether they’re still in your life, subconsciously patting its emotional pockets before it leaves for the day.
I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They...– –Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Even after all this time, The sun never says To the Earth, ‘You owe...– Hafiz